5 Ways to Be True To Yourself

Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books – especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day. -John Wooden

Everyone is unique and we have our own experiences that shape our lives and thought process not just about ourselves but about those close to us, this world and our community. I strongly believe that it is very important to be honest with yourself, live openly and follow your heart.

EssentialLifeSkills.net states that “To be true to yourself takes courage. It requires you to be introspective, sincere, open-minded and fair. It does not mean that you are inconsiderate or disrespectful of others. It means that you will not let others define you or make decisions for you that you should make for yourself.

5 Ways To Be True To Yourself:

1) Take responsibility for your life & actions.

We are responsible for our life. When we understand that we have to be true to ourselves, life then takes on a whole new meaning. Thing is, too many times we are stuck with what people have done to us and not what we have done to others – that’s how it usually is – but that’s not where we have to be.

We have to really understand that life is fragile, short and full of joy and we must take on the responsibility of our life with not just with our words but our more so with our actions.

2) Understand your Values

It’s important to know what your values are, for an honest talk. Having values and being able to define them makes life easier. Value is “a strongly held belief about what is valuable, important, or acceptable”. Values are important because they act as guidelines for the events in your life. It took a while to find my own values – I am a homebody who values hard work, nurturing, passionate about loving people in my life and making a difference. To me, it’s important to encourage people to be their best not just with words and actions but by being transparent about my own life and struggles.

The sooner you find your values, the easier it becomes to be true to yourslef because your behavior is guided by a set of values and not just how you feel at the moment.

Find your values here and you’ll find your center.

3) Have Goals And Align Them With Your Values

Do not just sleepwalk through your life but have some goals. Set some limits, create some boundaries, etch some lines in the sand and reach those lines and stretch yourself. Create the structure of routine and discipline. Be a better person than you were yesterday.

4) Pay extra attention to self-talk

We have wicked ways to convince ourselves of that one more handbag that we have been wanting to buy or that extra bite of chocolate that seems harmless. But this very self-talk makes us believe things that we either later of feel guilty about or develop a distorted view of how things should be. While chocolate and handbag are in the lower pedestal – what we think of others or what we want other to think of us or how others should be treating us something we must have a firm grip on – to be whole. And this is where attention to self-talk comes in.

Learn to separate lies that the “negative-self” could bring up or anything negative that undermines your own strengths. Remember that it’s easy to judge or condemn others but remain honest with your true self by monitoring your negative thoughts.

5) Choose Grace Over Guilt

We all make mistakes and when it comes to the realization – drop the big ego, admit your mistake and learn from it! It doesn’t make any difference if we continue to do the same thing that hurts our near and dear ones. And even if you end up doing something you regret, forgive yourself – choose grace over guilt. Understand that you are learning and growing and it’s ok to make mistakes. Just let it go and start over!

8 Things I learned in 2018

blank journal

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” ― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

2018 was one of the most eventful years so stay with me as I summarize all our endeavors and then my take away from the experiences.

Early in the year we experimented with our diet and gave try to keto so anywhere we’d go I looked for high-fat items. Then a month and a half into it I was diagnosed with gallbladder stones. My parents advised me to change my arrival in India a week prior to our planned date so that I can get Cholecystectomy. Post surgery we celebrated our late-reception with my mom’s family in India.

In June, we celebrate little Monkey’s 5th birthday and then early July I took a 4-day trip with my sister to Vancouver. We also kicked off our basement renovation which wrapped up in November. We had my in-laws visit us for 4 months (jun-sep) and we went to see Pandas at the Calgary Zoo.

In October, I tagged along with Husband on his CITT conference (again..in Vancouver) and we went to Seattle for a day trip. My sister and her husband visited us for Christmas and we had a blast surrounded with loved ones.

Lessons

  1. What others think – I KNOW that this is easier said than done but it took me a very long time to learn and internalize that it doesn’t really matter what xyz thinks about me or if my IG feed has to be perfect. What I share is based on my experience and if it resonates with somebody they will understand and connect with me.
  2. Treasure experiences over stuff– if you’d notice in my summary above, I didn’t mention any handbag or books I bought but only experiences. This year (with health on the front focus) my viewpoint has shifted to all about places we explore, games we play and things we do and it’s amazing!
  3. Schedule Rest – like any important appointment I learned to schedule some quiet time to rest and rejuvenate for people and things that needed my attention.
  4. Treat my body right – Same as scheduling rest, working out and eating right (most of the time) is a work in progress.
  5. Write it down – We met many new people at church so I started writing their names and things they’d share about bit by bit I now know and remember more about them than if a relied on my memory. Journaling is another thing that has literally helped me straighten my big huge messed up ball-of-thoughts.
  6. Choose grace over perfection – Forgiving myself and choosing grace is the most important thing. I am hard on myself for mistakes I do and not just at work but at home while cooking or raising a toddler or forgetting to mail a birthday card etc. It didn’t take long for me to go down the path of beating myself up for screwing anything and then staying there. But now I just acknowledge, make a note of the mistake and if there is anything to learn and forget about it. Still not perfect but something again work in progress.
  7. Prayer develops faith – If you had told me to pray out loud, I’d run away far away as if someone threatened me with a gun. In all my years of supposedly faith I hadn’t prayed out loud (ever) and only until I met my husband that he slowly encouraged me to pray out loud. And i still can’t pray publicly but we pray during family prayer time and that has given me so much peace.
  8. Giving is the ultimate joy – It doesn’t have to be money or stuff but sometimes just a smile or kind words make a world of a difference. And little things are all that matter!

That’s what this year taught me. To love and forgive myself the same way I would anyone else and to take care of my body and soul so that I can pour into others.

Wish you a very blessed 2019!